Being in the birth world, I am very priveledged to work with new life. New energy. Happiness for another entrance into the world.
Death usually doesn't embrace all these things. My aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor this past August. I flew back east to be with her, even packing clothes for what I thought would be her funeral. She had told me on the phone prior to my flight out that she wanted to die. I told her that I would help her for this transition.
In my role as a birth doula, counselor, prenatal yoga teacher, etc. I support my client's wishes and desires. I am not the one in charge. This was the theme that I brought with me for my visit to my aunt.
My aunt surprised everyone, including (of course) the doctors. She woke up, even after her priest had visited her. She told him, "You know that journey you said I was about to take? Well, I postponed it for a while."
These last 2 months my aunt chose to have aggressive chemo and radiation. The tumor was inoperable yet was shrinking in size. She has had these last months to reconnect with my family. My family has had the opportunity to say good-bye.
Yet, today she was supposed to die.
Yesterday, my aunt didn't wake up in the morning. The ambulance took her to the hospital and my uncle and cousin were discussing the need for hospice.
Today, my aunt woke up! I called her and she was sitting in a chair. I told her I loved her. She has decided to eat whatever she wants.
Why is she still here? Not for me to judge. Who am I to make such a marked statement as, "My aunt was supposed to die today?" I am not in charge. I need to get out of the driver's seat and watch this process unfold.
Just like my role in the birth world. I watch as the process unfolds....
