An iPhone Holiday?

Growing up, I remember my father would tell us to stop watching the "boob tube".   Can anyone else relate to this comment?  Television was supposed to be the demise of our society.  On a radio show, someone recently asked what  happened to the "good 'ole days", where families would sit around  watching television together.  What was once the judgement of yesteryear, some are now craving the simplicity of once was.

Will this be the experience of today's generation when it comes to technology use?  Everywhere we turn, there are opportunities to be plugged in, and just when we think we have a handle on what's happening, there's new technology waiting right around the corner.

National Public Radio (NPR) published an Apple generated story about a near 14 year old boy that appears to be disconnected from his family as they are celebrating the Holidays.   I won't spoil the "ending" since the clip is shared at the end of this post.  What I'm sure we all can ascertain is television, iPhones, iPads, personal computers and all other technology yet to be discovered, are here to stay.  This is how the vast majority of today's teens choose to connect (and stay connected) in the world.

When my oldest was a toddler, he loved Superman.  He would dress in a cape laden with red, blue and yellow and run around the house jumping from couch to couch.  Instead of missing out on what consumed most of his day, I bought a large book all about this super hero.  There we were, reading all about him.  Superman swoops down from a building just in time to save the world.  Superman defends himself from numerous rockets.  Superman even flies into the sunrise.  And there I was, watching the engrossed eyes of my son, as he soaked in every word.   By connecting with him without judgement, the love between us flowed even more.

Yes, there can be limits in our homes around technology use.  I've made a conscious decision to refrain from use when our family is all together in the evening.  What's missing is the opportunity to join and learn from the younger generation; how they think and interact with technology may build some forms of intimacy and connection that are not in our scope of practice.   Today I will use the experience of Superman and apply it to my children's thirst for technology.  I promise not to yell, "Get off the boob tube, or iPod!" and first see how I can join them in their world of wonder.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, our family will create our own version of an iPhone Holiday.

Wish me luck.

Fighting, yelling, arguing in siblings leads to intimacy

I believe that if I could go back in time, the YouTube clip I'm sharing below would have been a glimpse into my childhood.  This mom, Katie Crank, sings praises and craziness for raising her 4 sons.  Being the oldest in a family with 4 brothers, I saw lots of fighting, heard lots of yelling.  The one thing that has wrung true throughout those days of the past, and now as a mom to two sons:  this is contact.  This is a way of connecting, and without it there are no opportunities for intimacy.

Wouldn't it be nice if, years earlier,  one of my brothers would have walked up to the other and said, "Hi, I missed you today.  I'd like to play some catch of the football with you."  That's usually not how it went down.  Instead, there was the almighty throw of the brown leathered ball, without the receiver knowing it was coming, and sometimes hitting him smack in the head or stomach.  The result?  A big 'ole "Mmmmoooooommmm!!!!" And there my mother would step in, trying to discern how to foster a sense of safety amongst her children, without losing her own cool.

Yikes!

This has been my world for the last 10+ years.  When I'm in a "good" place, I can recognize that with the mere throw of the football lies an opportunity for communication and an understanding into what my children's needs are in that moment.  Generally, it is a desire to connect.  It's not the way I imagine connection, but it is their way.  With this awareness comes a conscious shift in my own energy, which results in a sense of peace returning to my life, especially amidst the chaos.

Today, I celebrate all parents who find themselves resonating with what this mom sums up best at the end of her video clip:  the fighting can (and does) lead to intimacy, and that love will ALWAYS prevail.

Let Veteran's Day remind us of coming home

"I'm coming home!"  We say these words as we call our loved ones after leaving work.  We say them as we finish running to the store to buy the last bit of ingredients for the red hot chile, with the extra kick.  Heck,  Dr. Dre, Eminem and Skylar Grey even sang them.  

Those words mean so much more to military families.  They dream about them.  They even use these words in the form of a question, with the beginning word being "when."

"When are you coming home, Daddy?" expressed by a near three year old girl, as she stares into a camera deep inside her mom's laptop computer.   He's miles away, donning his U.S. Army attire through the screen.   She's tried touching him, wondering why she can't feel his skin, his hair and his beard.  All she feels is the smooth, hard surface of the glass.

"When are you coming home, Daddy?", with the answer being, "A year, my darling daughter."  She doesn't understand how long that is, because she just learned that when the sun comes up, it goes down sometime later that day, and when she wakes up she will see that same sun again.  

This same girl learns how to count, not by blocks or writing numbers.  Instead, she watches her mom make "X marks the spot" signs in tiny squares that adorn the calendar taped to the fridge.  

With her mom's help, she counts the number of "X's, and when she counts past the number 20, she gets so confused that she beings to yell, "Start over!  Start over!" 

She's not really mad about getting the counting right.  She's mad because she wants her Dad.  "When are you coming home?" gets replaced with, "Why did you even leave me?"

I want anyone serving the military to come home.  I want this for every child that needs their Dad or Mom to tuck them into bed at night, while whispering the words, "Sleep tight.  Don't let the bed bugs bite."  These words aren't that comforting, literally.  However, if you asked that little girl if they scared her, she'd most likely tell you they're nothing compared to the fear of living one more day without her Dad.

Watch the YouTube clip below, courtesy of ESPN.   I dare you to do so with a dry eye.  Allow the love you witness to appreciate your home, your family, and your life.

"I'm coming home."  Sing it, Dr. Dre.  Sing it loud.

Happy Veteran's Day.

Happy Birthday to my father

As time passes, I seem to be appreciating life's simple pleasures, taking nothing for granted.  Today marks one of those days, as I wake up realizing it's my father's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Dad!   I've written before about his health "opportunity" when he had heart surgery nearly two years ago.  Since his operation, I believe he is a walking miracle.  

Like many who have faced mortality in such a profound way, he is here.  My father is alive and well, and he seems to be enjoying his final days/months/years on this planet.  Yes, he shows signs of aging, as many do in their second half of life.  Yet, I have witnessed a spark in his step when he spends time  with his youngest granddaughter.  It appears she came here to remind him about gratitude, silliness, and most importantly, love.  When she visits, my niece takes her "Papa" on a walk;  she in her Snow White costume, stretching her hand up to meet his.  This littlest of beings, with her hand soft and smooth, holding all that the future holds;  my father, with his wrinkled, yet strong fingered hand to meet hers.  

Through my niece, I get to catch a glimpse into the feelings I know my father experienced when I was three years old.  I remember sitting on my mom's lap, as she rocked me in her rocker.  We'd look out the big bay window, waiting for his car to pull up in the drive.  "Daddy's home!"  I would yell, running to the front door to greet him.  I don't remember anything more except the big smile he had as his big arms wrapped me in the biggest, warmest embrace.

The cycle of life shows in this grandfather/granddaughter connection.  I hope my father continues to dance right on out into the wild blue yonder on his birthday, and every day he shares himself with his granddaughter, myself, and anyone else that's lucky enough to be part of his dance.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Trust and do what you love

My friend Erin, founder of www.erincondren.com, was featured on the Today Show today.  Her story is inspiring, as she grew her love of creating fun, witty Holiday cards into an online extravaganza.  Not only cards, but my friend's business offers much more:  growth charts, recipe boxes, wallpaper, and the coveted daytime organizer.  (Below shows some of the EC stationary, as featured on The Today Show.)

I love her story because she found a way to balance being a mom of twins while doing what she loves.

Don't we all want the same?  Balance.  Reaching for our dreams.  Doing what we love.  Today I sit here, knowing that I have a call to write.  Erin's story motivates me to continue doing this act.  When Erin first started out, she operated out of her home office, which has now morphed into a 40,000 square foot warehouse.  She obviously isn't at home anymore, and employs a 100 person staff to spread the joy of her business.  (Below is a photo of Erin in her warehouse, as featured on The Today Show.)

So, here I am writing.  Today I submitted a 475 word maximum article to an online Women's Spiritual Health magazine.  They accepted my piece and have asked for me to write 5 more times throughout the year.  Although a small magazine, I had never heard of prior to receiving a request for submission, I move ahead, happy to be spreading the joy I have through this creation.  Just like Erin's home office, when she created out of the love of doing so, I offer the same.

We all need to find what we love and as NIKE® would say:  Just Do It.  What do you need to be doing for YOU and no one else?  What will stretch you beyond what you believe you are capable of doing?
Just as I cheer for my friend's success, I also support YOU.

Trust, and do what you LOVE!

Happy Day!

Lisa


www.mindfulbeginnings.com

When a pregnant couple (or really any couple) takes time to honor their relationship

I had the privilege to work with a pregnant couple the other night.  I found myself imagining that I was cupid, shooting hearts of love through the air.  The night was blissful, watching the tired husband return from his long day of work in the entertainment industry.  The wife, being 37 weeks pregnant AND a stay at home mom, chasing after an energetic two year old son, had her own feelings of exhaustion.  Together, this made for the perfect time to restore and renew, not only themselves, but each other.

We started by having the husband sprawl out on the couch, with the wife lying in front of him, her back on his chest.  I asked her to give "all of her energy" so that he could hold and support her.  They both melted into a cocoon-like state, and unconsciously, they were able to sense each other rhythms of breath.  They began to tune into the other and it was as if their breaths became one.  As it should be.

This being baby #2, there hadn't been as much time dedicated to preparing for his or her (they want to be surprised) birth.  We discussed the birth of their son, and this provided an opportunity to rid any held tension, anxiety or frustration that they may have been carrying into their current life.  They then were lulled by a visualization created to allow love and peace to prevail as the expansion of their family gets even closer.

Lastly, we ended with some partner yoga.  We laughed.  We laughed some more.  And, here's what the wife emailed me yesterday:

"Thanks so much for last night, we had a lovely evening, it was just what I was looking for. A perfect blend, and a true testament to the enjoyment.   In my 37th week of pregnancy, I slept like the babe within and didn't need to get up once! Also, Andy who's been plagued by papa stress, didn't have his early morning insomnia!  So great.  

We need to do that more often, just the two of us, always good to have a helpful reminder!   I recommend all partners take some time to reconnect and get excited about the next journey!"

-Brooke Castor -Manhattan Beach

I left them with more joy and love in my own heart, knowing this new baby was inside his/her mama performing cartwheels of gratitude.

Whether pregnant or not, it's always a good thing to do something as a couple to reconnect.  Go walk in nature.  Write each other  a love letter (or even an email).  Do something to honor the person who is walking side by side with you through life.  I have done so with my life partner, and will continue to do so because no matter how long we are together, I want that blissful feeling to prevail.  

My grandfather, the visionary

Have you ever "felt" the presence of a loved one who has died?  I have.  Lately, it's been my grandfather.  God, love him.  I hear his voice talking to me.  I hear his laugh.  Sometimes I smile when this happens.  Other times, I cry.  Whatever the emotion I feel, the experience is like receiving an extra birthday present, because if I were to move quickly through life's moments, I wouldn't even notice that he "stopped by" for a visit.

My grandfather didn't believe in energy or intuition.  He was out working on the farm, providing for his family.  He would often laugh at some of the stories I'd tell him as I "found my way" through life.  There was no time to sit and think in his "book of a self-taught education."  My gramp was one of the most well read individuals I have ever encountered.  His life was about doing, whether it was pushing a plow or reading a book.

After he died, my father shared my grandfather's "business card."  On this yellow piece of paper were the typewritten words: "farmer", "builder", "mechanic", "family man" and "mechanic".  They all remind me of what many of us do in the present day; we set goals and vision what we'd like more of in our lives.  We stake our claim on the earth.  Yes, that's just what this man did; he staked his claim.

Perhaps this grandfather of mine was ahead of his time.  He didn't need to read a self-help book explaining how to live one's life.  He just did it, and while doing so, my grandpa arranged words to be printed on a piece of paper.  This paper really captured who he was, and all that knew him would have to agree that he was all that.
 
Go make your "business card."  Go stake your claim on this earth.

Blessings,

Lisa