An iPhone Holiday?

Growing up, I remember my father would tell us to stop watching the "boob tube".   Can anyone else relate to this comment?  Television was supposed to be the demise of our society.  On a radio show, someone recently asked what  happened to the "good 'ole days", where families would sit around  watching television together.  What was once the judgement of yesteryear, some are now craving the simplicity of once was.

Will this be the experience of today's generation when it comes to technology use?  Everywhere we turn, there are opportunities to be plugged in, and just when we think we have a handle on what's happening, there's new technology waiting right around the corner.

National Public Radio (NPR) published an Apple generated story about a near 14 year old boy that appears to be disconnected from his family as they are celebrating the Holidays.   I won't spoil the "ending" since the clip is shared at the end of this post.  What I'm sure we all can ascertain is television, iPhones, iPads, personal computers and all other technology yet to be discovered, are here to stay.  This is how the vast majority of today's teens choose to connect (and stay connected) in the world.

When my oldest was a toddler, he loved Superman.  He would dress in a cape laden with red, blue and yellow and run around the house jumping from couch to couch.  Instead of missing out on what consumed most of his day, I bought a large book all about this super hero.  There we were, reading all about him.  Superman swoops down from a building just in time to save the world.  Superman defends himself from numerous rockets.  Superman even flies into the sunrise.  And there I was, watching the engrossed eyes of my son, as he soaked in every word.   By connecting with him without judgement, the love between us flowed even more.

Yes, there can be limits in our homes around technology use.  I've made a conscious decision to refrain from use when our family is all together in the evening.  What's missing is the opportunity to join and learn from the younger generation; how they think and interact with technology may build some forms of intimacy and connection that are not in our scope of practice.   Today I will use the experience of Superman and apply it to my children's thirst for technology.  I promise not to yell, "Get off the boob tube, or iPod!" and first see how I can join them in their world of wonder.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, our family will create our own version of an iPhone Holiday.

Wish me luck.

Fighting, yelling, arguing in siblings leads to intimacy

I believe that if I could go back in time, the YouTube clip I'm sharing below would have been a glimpse into my childhood.  This mom, Katie Crank, sings praises and craziness for raising her 4 sons.  Being the oldest in a family with 4 brothers, I saw lots of fighting, heard lots of yelling.  The one thing that has wrung true throughout those days of the past, and now as a mom to two sons:  this is contact.  This is a way of connecting, and without it there are no opportunities for intimacy.

Wouldn't it be nice if, years earlier,  one of my brothers would have walked up to the other and said, "Hi, I missed you today.  I'd like to play some catch of the football with you."  That's usually not how it went down.  Instead, there was the almighty throw of the brown leathered ball, without the receiver knowing it was coming, and sometimes hitting him smack in the head or stomach.  The result?  A big 'ole "Mmmmoooooommmm!!!!" And there my mother would step in, trying to discern how to foster a sense of safety amongst her children, without losing her own cool.

Yikes!

This has been my world for the last 10+ years.  When I'm in a "good" place, I can recognize that with the mere throw of the football lies an opportunity for communication and an understanding into what my children's needs are in that moment.  Generally, it is a desire to connect.  It's not the way I imagine connection, but it is their way.  With this awareness comes a conscious shift in my own energy, which results in a sense of peace returning to my life, especially amidst the chaos.

Today, I celebrate all parents who find themselves resonating with what this mom sums up best at the end of her video clip:  the fighting can (and does) lead to intimacy, and that love will ALWAYS prevail.